I don't think it's a scam; they wouldn't do that on the internet now, would they? So, I just told them the plain truth, as follows, in my reply email.
Oh thank you thank you thank you. God bless your lil hearts. We have been so terribly worried ever since little Amanda Jean got cancer and was turned away from St. Judes ... we just did not know how were were going to pay off her medical bills to keep her in that private research facility in Mexico City and also pay our back gambling debts too. We've been making steady monthly payments to 'Little Richard' because, well, **** (pardon my french) he broke Bobby Jean's arms when she didn't pay back and if little Amanda Jean dies from cancer then she just goes on t' heaven, but damn ... I can't live with a broken arm.
Anyhow, I digress. Thank you so very the much for your generous offer. I am prepared to advance you the sum of $1,45,037.61/2 Samoan Rupees in anticipation of the prize. The check will be payable from the 1st Church of What's Happenin' Now, a wholly-owned subsidiary of The Chapel at Johnny Walker. I hope this amount will be sufficient. Here's the information you need:
1. Name in Full: Yes
2. Address: of course you idiot, everybody has to live somewhere
3. Nationality: No brainer, I have one of those too.
4. Age: Well, if I'm still breathing I have age. Jeez, you people need a new question-writer.
5. Occupation: Leach.
6. Phone/Fax: 61-555-2367; hit 9 for the fax
7. Present Country: Withheld, for national security reasons (and I'm still in Witness Protection too). I'll give you a hint: nobody here speaks English worth a damn.
8. Email address:
[email protected]
9. Secret Pin Code: Normally I wouldn't give this out, but, I kinda like you, so here it is: 45682416581583513812354372574352247853241348532134635468461.213545313254654354654238643513154213651454351354535341345453438548345321
Commit it to memory, because I'm going to ask you to verify the first time you call me. And, I have a photographic memory so BOOYAH i'll know if you miss a number.
Oh, I didn't make the deadline for time because I was being waterboarded for several days, and only recently escaped. Good golly miss molly, how I mess the old days when they just hooked you up to a car battery. Oh well, ...
Thanks again, I look forward to hearing from you and I'll have that check out in tomorrow's mail.
Sincerely
Rev. Hezekiah 'Boom Boom' Snookums
Caretaker of the Al Capone Podium at the Chapel of the AR-17
Chicago, Idaho
PS: My sister, Lilith (yes that's right, the one who was Adam's first wife) sends her regards. We're both about 6,000 years old and personal friends with Noah (God rest his soul) so DONT SCREW WITH US or you may not live to regret it. I'm also tight with Jimmy Hoffa (no, he isn't dead) and you know he's got teamster connections to die for. JSYK.
H.