Quote:I wish to be removed from all messages and calls
We have discovered some extremely successful methods to stop receiving all messages and calls to your phone.
1) If you have a landline, find the phone's drain line that runs from each phone to a socket in the wall. Unplug the drain lines from all your phones, and leave them unplugged for at least three months. During that time, you will receive no irritating calls, as all the numbers flow out of the phone, onto your floor (don't worry, they evaporate without leaving a residue, but keep pets away from the lines for a while). If you plug in the drain lines after three months, and start to get calls, repeat the solution, but wait six months. Be patient!
2) If you have a cellular phone (one that works by radio waves), recognize that radio waves do not easily pass through salt water. Try this:
a) Find an unused commode in your house.
b) Remove the big porcelain cover from the "tank".
c) Add two pounds of salt granules
d) Stir well, to dissolve the salt
e) Drop your cell phone in the tank
f) Replace the tank cover
g) Do not flush the tank for one week
This process acts almost immediately. Usually, after a very short time, the cellular will cease receiving calls. As a free added bonus, it will also stop sending calls. However, to be 100% safe, leave the phone in the salt water, and go outside to "do your duty" while the solution works on your phone.
Standard Disclaimer:
We are not responsible for any damage, unwanted effects, constipation. urinary retention or mental stress caused by trying these methods.
As an added bonus, if you follow Slim's second set of instructions precisely, at the end of the week you will also be able to prevent a plumber from becoming homeless by giving him gainful employment. Isn't that wonderful, solving your solution and doing a good deed all at the same time!
Plumbers everywhere will thank you for your second set of instructions. That will keep many of them from becoming homeless by giving the gainful employment.