---> Tired pleaded, "So sick of getting solicitation text messages! I did not ask for these! STOP!" <---

You have reached the right place.  Famed telecommunications conglomerate 800notes.com, owner of 99.99% of the entire communications infrastructure of the world, together with its cadre of posters, who alone originate 98.7% of all the junk, hang-up, unsolicited and otherwise unwanted phone calls in the entire world, as well as text messages, emails, and junk faxes, have teamed up to offer you custom call and text blocking services at a price you can afford!  For just $10,000 per week, via Green Dot card, prepaid in advance for a year, we can assure you that you will receive NO text messages or phone calls from ANY of us!  And this service INCLUDES tracing your anonymous post to determine who you are and what numbers of ours you are using, so that ALL of them can be protected (limited to up to 4 different numbers only, please)!

And in case you are the recipient of any of the 1.3% of unwanted communications that we do not originate, we have a special offer for you!  For a slight additional charge, we will find out who actually originates these unwanted communications to you and take physical action against them, ranging from a simple kneecapping to outright body disposal.  Body disposal can include, depending upon rate and location, encasement in concrete, burial at sea, or a simple shredding and dismemberment.  Our deluxe package also includes disposal of witnesses for your added protection.  While past results may not be determinative of future success, we like to point to Jimmy Hoffa as one of our greatest success stories.

So remember -- choosy people anonymously message 800notes.com to handle their unwanted calls and texts permanently and discreetly.  And we accept Green Dot cards, exclusively.

(If you actually believe any of the above, you have an enormously bigger problem than unwanted phone calls or text messages.  Although I'm sure some people would believe it and pay the fees if they received this message in an unsolicited phone call from an Indian call center.)