CALLER: (with typical call center delay and background noises) Hi (trying his best to sound like my closest friend) and asking for me by name.
ME: Who's calling please?
CALLER: This is [I forgot name] calling from the community outreach program here in Huntington Beach [no doubt they substitute the city name for whatever their list shows as your city.] How much are you spending on electricity each month?
ME: That's none of your business, you damn lowlife. Call me again and I'll damage your hearing with an air horn.