I keep getting calls from this outfit - all they do is leave nasty voicemails, claiming they are from the collections department and they are calling about a delinquent mortgage. I did a reverse search and found out it is Seacoast Bank, based in Stuart Fla.

Here's the thing: a) I have never had a mortgage on my house. I bought it for cash money a long time ago, b) I have NEVER had an account with this bank. No checking, no savings, no CD's and definitely no mortgage!

I have called the bank back several times, demanding they take me off their collections call list. I keep telling them they must have somehow transposed the number for some deadbeat and keyed in my number by mistake. But every time I call, some guy who is a total a-hole always calls me later that evening and starts right back with the threats to destroy my credit rating, foreclose my house, take my car, etc.

I have begun recording my incoming and outgoing calls with these assklowns. My next step is to wear a hidden body camera and visit the collections department and get them on record. Then it's lawsuit time.

By the way, friends warned me away from this bank years ago. Constant screwups in checking - lost depos, service charges despite having high balances, etc.