Friends, this is no ordinary spam call. This is a dedicated group of criminals, pervs, hackers, and weirdoes, led by a depraved individual from Nashville TN with little beady eyes and a lot of large moles and wens on his body which really turn women off, even moreso than the fact that he was incested by his dad or somebody. These diabolical conspirators have taken advantage of me and so many others as their catspaws and victims, but I have put my faith in Jesus Christ to defeat these evildoers. Praise Jesus, for He alone can rid the Internet of these wicked forces, and save us all from the snares and wiles of true evil like this. I have accepted Jesus Christ as my lord and savior and I urge all of you to do the same, go find a Bible and read John 3:16. Praise Jesus. (And confidential to JRR: you might want to use all that stolen money to see a dermatologist about mole-removal.)